A Therapist’s Lessons from America’s Current Political and Social Climate

Many people in the country right now are so deeply entrenched in their political or social group that any and all ability to be open-minded or empathetic to people from different groups has vanished. It’s as if people are unaware that all of us are nothing more than a product of our experiences. However, I think there are some things to take away from this current political and social climate that can help us all reflect and grow:

1. There is a difference between opinion and fact - Most of us trusted “the news” until the mid 1990s. Walter Cronkite, Edward R. Murrow, Tom Brokaw, Peter Jennings…all of these people were revered and no one thought they were reporting the news with a “slant.” However, that doesn’t mean that they didn’t have opinions. You could easily argue that Walter Cronkite was the reason the Vietnam War ended when it did. The reason his credibility was never questioned was that he differentiated between what he reported as the news and his opinions. Any time that he was sharing his opinion he would make it absolutely clear that it was his editorial. Today, very few politicians are ever held accountable to explain the rationale of their statements. People can say whatever they want, but look for the receipts to back it up or recognize it for what it is, an opinion.

2. Don’t let confirmation bias drive the bus - We have to stop pretending that things are true simply because we wish that they were. There is an easy an example of this in the current news cycle. Anyone that would make an argument that the Founding Fathers weren’t doing everything they could to to make sure government and religion never intertwined either doesn’t have a good understanding of American history or doesn’t care what’s true. The reason Europeans left for the New World was to escape religious persecution. The idea that they would create a form of government that would allow that cycle to repeat is simply ludicrous. In the 250 years of this country’s history, it’s always just been accepted as a truth in our Constitution. This ties into why people must be held accountable for their words. We live in a world where people are susceptible to believing a lie when it is repeated often enough simply because it is what they “wish” were true.

3. People who are credible are the first to admit when they “don’t know” - People who can admit when they don’t understand something are usually the people you should listen to when they do share an opinion. A current example of this is how the word “socialism” is constantly described as some radical antithesis to democracy. This simply isn’t true. America currently has programs that are of socialist design, including Social Security and Medicare, which are two of our most popular government programs. It’s OK to admit if you don’t have a full understanding of something. A willingness to listen and learn is how we are better able to synthesize information and improve our understanding of the world.

4. More than one thing can be true at the same time - The attack on Israel by Hamas on October 7th was barbaric and unforgivable. The people responsible for the attack should be held to account and Israel had every right to defend itself. I can believe this and I can also think the atrocities being committed in Gaza are completely unacceptable. It does not have to be binary. Two or more things can be true, which is why conflicts can be so complex and hard to resolve.

5. Changing your mind isn’t a sign you are a sheep. It’s a sign you have the capacity to grow and learn - The world has become so polarized that almost no one can see truth or feels they can change their opinion if it contradicts. This isn’t quite the same as confirmation bias. People are afraid that if they ever agree with someone who they perceive as being on the opposite side, they “lose.” These days people are more worried about being right than doing right. I have changed my opinion many times when new information comes in. Most people are limited to this only with what they can see with their own eyes. For example, we would change our minds about our partner if we caught them having an affair. It would probably still be hard to believe if someone we knew told us that they knew or heard that our partner was having an affair. But what if someone we didn’t know contacted us and tried to convince us they were cheating? It would probably be easy to dismiss, right? You might even hang up the phone. But why not at least ask them what evidence they have? If they had it on recording you might need to believe it! This is a micro example of a very macro problem. We refuse to take in new information because we assume that everyone has an agenda or is lacking in credibility. But sometimes, the only agenda is to help.

6. Be honest when you are making an argument about a topic from emotion as opposed to logic - This is one of the things that I think leads to the most frustration when we try to communicate with people with opposing views. I used to have frequent arguments about a divisive topic with someone I love dearly who just couldn’t wrap their brain around why I would support one stance. After the fifth time having the same argument I realized they thought I was questioning their logic. Once I said, “Did you think that I was challenging your data? I know what you said is true. But it makes me feel better when the outcome goes one way because of my experiences.” My argument was purely emotional. How much easier would it be for us to have discussions with one another if we were just honest about why we voted one way or the other.

7. Supporting others makes us stronger - After we successfully saved the world in WWII, our reputation amongst our allies was at its highest levels. Countries often deferred to us in disagreements because the belief was we were the “moral center” of western society. This reputation began eroding in the second half of the 20th century and has been progressively getting worse ever since. We had a small period of bounce back after 9/11 but our reputation is currently at an all time low. If people across the globe no longer believe that America will be there in their time of need we must recognize that they will look to other superpower countries for support. Nationalism only leads to no one having our back because no one believes that we have theirs. History has shown that no matter how big and bad a country or civilization make think they are, if they are fighting alone they are going to lose. On a personal note, I try to act in a way where people will have my back in a time of need. How can it possibly serve us to not act in a similar way?

8. We must stop thinking the way other people live their personal lives impacts our lives - I’m going to talk about some very personal issues here, because most people don’t understand the impact of their position. Abortion. Someone having an abortion is none of anyone's business. There is no consciousness until life can be sustained outside of the body. Most pro-life people act as if adoption is always a choice. It is but that doesn’t mean that it is a good choice. If you have never seen the impact of in-utero drug use on a child’s physical, behavioral, and mental health, you can’t understand the life those children will have. Or if someone is forced to keep a child against their will, what the psychological damage of growing up unloved and unwanted is. Additionally, there is no valid argument that another person’s sexual orientation or gender identity is going to have any impact on your life. See #6. You may not “like” it but there may be many things about you that others don’t like. Live and let live. It’s not that hard to not be cruel. As Walt Whitman (and Ted Lasso) said, “Be Curious, Not Judgmental.”