Five Signs You Have a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship looks different. What makes one couple perfect might be torture for others. However, there are a few qualities that almost all healthy couples share. Here are just a  few… 

1. Each partner makes nourishing the relationship a priority. Life is busy. Making sure  the relationship doesn’t get swept away during the chaos of life is exceptionally  important. Carving out a few minutes of each day to talk to one another without  distractions, scheduling date nights, and actively communicating about one another’s needs and desires are just some of the ways we sustain the life of our relationships. 

2. Safety and sacrifices are a given in the relationship. The most important thing to say about this right off the bat is this must be reciprocal. Each partner understands that sometimes they must give up what they want or need for their partner and they KNOW their partner will do the same for them. Safety is the more complicated of the two. The physical safety is hopefully pretty obvious. Emotional safety is trickier.It might look like, “I can tell you my fears and desires without worry about being punished, rejected, abandoned, or ridiculed.”  

3. They do nice things for one another, even when they want to kill each other! We all get  mad from time to time. We all get our feelings hurt. How couples handle these situations says  so much about their dynamic. Do you still ask what they want for dinner? Do you still grab their  hand walking down the street? Do you hold the umbrella over their head when it rains? Healthy  couples are NEVER punitive.  

4. Healthy couples are playful. Play looks different from couple to couple but there are  some universal signs. Playful couples will shoot coy glances to one another across a room.  They may give a gentle tug on one another’s clothes or do a “butt tap” when they think no one  is looking. They will tease one another in a way that actually seems to boost one another’s  self-esteem. Maybe they get dressed up and go to Comic Con or the Ren Fair together. Maybe  they can’t pass a playground without stopping for a minute and pushing each other on a swing.  The couple that plays together, stays together. 

5. Trust isn’t conditional or questioned. Healthy couples don’t feel a need to keep track of  one another’s location. They never wonder what they would find if they went through one  another’s phone. I always explain to couples/clients there is a huge difference between knowing someone hasn’t betrayed you and trusting they wouldn’t. If you are worried they are going to forget a commitment they made or that if they aren’t reminded of important events they won’t think about it, then you don’t have trust in that relationship.